Introducing Emotionally Responsive Practices
Child development is often described in four major domains: cognitive, physical, communication/language, and social-emotional. Social and emotional development is often pushed aside in conversations about school readiness, yet many teachers see it as the foundation for success in every other domain.
Teachers also know that when children struggle with a milestone of childhood, it often shows up in their behavior, a signal that something is going on. How adults guide or respond to a child who is struggling with big feelings can make the situation better or worse. Decades of research in child and brain development have changed how we respond: older approaches such as spanking may stop a behavior in the moment, but they never teach the child what to do instead.
One approach that brings this research into the classroom is Emotionally Responsive Practice (ERP), developed by Lesley Koplow at Bank Street College of Education’s Center for Emotionally Responsive Practice. ERP asks adults to look at children through two lenses at once: the lens of child development and the lens of each child’s life experience. The goal is to help children work through the foundational social and emotional milestones, such as attachment and separation, that make learning possible.
On Veterans Day, our Day School faculty took part in an ERP training led by Laura Martin, a licensed clinical social worker, licensed clinical addiction specialist, resiliency educator, and Circle of Security facilitator who has spent many years coaching early educators and leading Circle of Security Classroom groups.
Her central message: behavior is communication. When caregivers learn to decode what a child’s behavior is telling them, they can make intentional, strengths-based decisions about how to respond.
The training began with the Day School teachers remembering how they felt, thought, and reacted to happy and sad experiences as children. This mirrors what Bank Street calls a “parallel process,” in which teachers experience emotionally responsive techniques themselves before using them with children. We then discussed the stages of emotional development and how each stage must be established before the next can begin.
Daily routines are a big part of supporting children’s emotional development, and because children develop at different rates, a single classroom will show a wide range of readiness to follow them.
Drop-off is a good example. When a beloved family member leaves, a child may feel sadness at the separation, and what happens around the goodbye can shape the rest of the day. A rushed morning or a hurried goodbye can leave a child worried, upset, or angry, which we might see as crying, clinging, hiding, or withdrawing. And when a child’s distress keeps the parent from leaving, the adult grows more stressed, which the child senses too.
What happens next offers a clue about where a child is developmentally. Some children need only a moment before joining the morning routine; others stay upset, feeling the pain of disconnection. How the teacher responds reflects how well the teacher understands emotional development.
A teacher might offer a warm hug and comforting words, or a quiet, calming art activity. Another might set up a sign-in sheet where child and parent “sign in” together, with the child choosing a special marker and making early marks toward writing their name. When adults delight in those marks, the child feels proud and self-assured and ready to explore the room. The parent can say goodbye, and both parent and child leave the moment feeling good.
Some children may need a special cuddle friend to hold for a few moments before they are ready for the next thing; others are drawn in by something fun or comforting. Everything that happens during the hello/goodbye transition is part of emotionally responsive practice, and understanding emotional development helps teachers choose actions that support children, families, and themselves throughout the day.